It’s been a quiet, rainy morning, one dedicated to slow sips of coffee and sweatpants. I’ve been sitting at the kitchen table for an hour, looking out the window at a dreary sky and contemplating the steps I want to take moving forward in to the rest of 2019. Before I sit down to write my blog posts, I almost always have a little bit of pre-planning done in order to ensure my writing is moving in a specific direction. But today, I just felt like talking, so there was no preparation and I’m going to treat this as a space to unleash my stream of consciousness.
It is officially the beginning of autumn, the beginning of October (aka spooky season) and the beginning of the end of the year. Even as I typed that sentence out, it felt incorrect. How could it already be October? How could 2020 be three months away? Where did the summer go? All of these questions incited a feeling of anxiety and a looming sense of “running out of time” weighed heavy in my chest, which I think is fairly common in people when the year is coming to an end. We all feel as if we should’ve done more, pushed further, or worked harder during the year, and maybe we should’ve. But with the end of the year comes reflection and we shouldn’t forget to sit back and look at how far we’ve come. Even if we aren’t where we thought we’d be, we are further than we were when we started and I think that deserves recognition. I know it’s easier said than done, but try to remember, you’re not running out of time. You’re just moving at your own pace and as long as your direction is in a forward motion, you’ll get to where you want to go.
Autumn is the beautiful season of transition and change. It’s the season of cold weather and warm colours, fast paced work days and slow music, numb fingers and hot chocolate. Autumn is the season of opposites, feeling excited for what this new chapter brings while simultaneously struggling to let go of the past year. We look forward to change and new opportunities but feel trapped in this process of transition. We’re reminded that time is the only thing in life that is unstoppable, and we’re moving forward one way or another. So, find comfort in the discomfort of autumn and instead of pushing against the end of the year, find beauty in it and send 2019 off with a fond farewell.
(Written on October 4th, 2019)